English is a Funny Language

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple nor pine in pineapple... English muffins were not invented
in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are
candies, while sweetbreads which aren't sweet, are meat
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers
don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is
teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese
So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the
plural of choose?If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat
In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital
Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and
feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?How can
a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and
a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one
day and cold as hell another? When a house burns up, it burns
down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off
by going on.When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch
I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it? What you think? Is
English a funny language or not