A man feared his wife wasn't hearing and he thought she might
need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called
the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him
there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give
the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss
Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away
from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if
she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until
you get a response
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he
was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's
see what happens
Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner
No response
So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30
feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner
Still no response
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20
feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner
Again he gets no response so
He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away
Honey, what's for dinner
Again there is no response
So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner
James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN
Moral of the story:
The problem may not be with the other one as we always
think, it could be very much within us
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple nor pine in pineapple... English muffins were not invented
in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are
candies, while sweetbreads which aren't sweet, are meat
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers
don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is
teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese
So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the
plural of choose?If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat
In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital
Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and
feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?How can
a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and
a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one
day and cold as hell another? When a house burns up, it burns
down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off
by going on.When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch
I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it? What you think? Is
English a funny language or not
Your friend is the man/woman who knows all about you, and still likes you
"Friends are like melons; shall I tell you why? To find one good you must
try one hundred
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and
leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same
A friend loves at all times
"In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures."
"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
"A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails."
"A faithful friend is the medicine of life."
"Count your age with friends but not with years."
"Plant a seed of friendship; reap a bouquet of happiness."
"No man is useless while he has a friend."
"A true friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else."
"Good friends are good for your health."
"A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success