kids in school think quick

TEACHER    :    Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA         :    Here it is
TEACHER    :    Correct. Now class, who discovered America 
CLASS          :    Maria
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TEACHER     :    Why are you late, Frank
FRANK          :    Because of the sign
TEACHER     :    What sign
FRANK          :    The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow
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TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on
the floor
JOHN       :   You told me to do it without using tables
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TEACHER    :   Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile
GLENN         :    K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L
TEACHER    :    No, that's wrong
GLENN         :    Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it
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TEACHER    :    Donald, what is the chemical formula for water
DONALD      :    H I J K L M N O
TEACHER    :    What are you talking about
DONALD      :    Yesterday you said it's H to O
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TEACHER      : Winnie, name one important thing we have today
that we didn't  have ten years ago
WINNIE        :    Me
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TEACHER    :    Goss, why do you always get so dirty
GOSS          :    Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are

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TEACHER    :    Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I
MILLIE    :    I is
TEACHER    :    No, Millie..... Always say, "I am
MILLIE     :    All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet
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TEACHER    :    Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE
TINO : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day
same time
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TEACHER : George Washington not only chopped down his father's
cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know
why his father didn't punish  him
LOUIS    : Because George still had the ax in his hand
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TEACHER      :  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers
before eating
SIMON          :    No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook
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TEACHER      :   Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly
the same as your brother's. Did you copy his
CLYDE           :    No, teacher, it's the same dog
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TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people  are no longer interested
HAROLD   :     A teacher

?What is love

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing, And your voice caught within your chest?
•It isn't Love, it's Like.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right?
•It isn't Love, it's Lust.

Are you proud, and eager to show them off?
•It isn't Love, it's Luck.

Do you want them because you know they're there?
•It isn't Love, it's Loneliness.

Are you there because it's what everyone wants?
•It isn't Love, it's Loyalty.

Do you stay for their confessions of Love, because you don't want to hurt them?
•It isn't Love, it's Pity.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?
•It isn't Love, it's being Unconfident.
 
Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?
•It isn't Love, it's Infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?
•It isn't Love, it's Friendship.

Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?
•It isn't Love, it's a Lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?
•It isn't Love, it's Charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?
•Then it's Love.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?
•Then it's Love.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are?
•Then it's Love.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?
•Then it's Love.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
•Then it's Love.

But do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain
and elation pulls you close and holds you?
•Then it's Love.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?
•Then it's Love.

Now, if Love is painful, and tortures us so,
why do we Love?
Why is it all we search for in life?
This pain, this agony?
Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self?
Why?
Because it's ...  Love

...

فرصت لذت بردن از خوشی هایت را به بعد موکول نکن.
اشتباهاتت را بپذیر.
حداقل سالی یک بار طلوع آفتاب را تماشا کن.
برای هر مناسبت کوچکی جشن بگیر.
شکست را به راحتی بپذیر و وقتی پیروز شدی فخرفروشی نکن.
عادت کن همیشه حتی زمانی که ناراحت هستی خودت را سرحال نشان دهی.
وقتی با کار سختی رو به رو شدی به خودت تلقین کن که ؛ شکست غیرممکن است.
سعی کن زندگی همواره برایت پیام داشته باشد.
کوچکترین پیشرفت ها را هم موفقیت بدان.
آرام صحبت کن اما در فکر کردن سریع باش.
مشکلات را ؛ به عنوان نوعی مبارزه طلبی در نظر بگیر.
اعتماد به نفس داشته باش و خود را کوچک مشمار.
برای داشتن یک روز خوب ، به فردا فکر نکن.
هرچند وقت یکبار یک عادت ناپسند خود را ترک کن.
به خاطر داشته باش که همیشه حق انتخاب با توست.
دیگران را تحسین کن و از شادی آنها لذت ببر.
آرام باش و از زمان حال لذت ببر. زیرا بقیه عمرت را برای ادامه زندگی در اختیار داری.